We have found a lot of related posts on the very same subjects — why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship, why doesn’t he love me, and things like that. All of them look the same, unfortunately.
The article below is written by ONE OF OUR CERTIFIED PSYCHOLOGISTS -Jane Lin and it will give you answers to such questions:
Get the quality advice of an expert instead of reading the opinions of copywriters online. At the end of the article, you will find contacts of our respected psychologists to whom you can turn on questions related to that topic. Find out about the category of men who don’t want a relationship and how to spot them at the early stage not to start any relationship with them and not get hurt. Let’s start!
TOP REASONS he would keep you around even if he doesn’t want you
It often happens that men try to say that they do not want any relationship or do not need it but keep coming back to you for some reason. Women wrack their brains on what is going on, why he behaves like that, and what she should do. In general, this does not mean a lot and you should not really be concerned about such guys.
There are no extraordinary reasons, actually. Most of them are very banal and you will hardly like them. They are very true though and you must know them for sure.
He is fine with having sex with you
This is the first and foremost reason why men keep returning to someone they do not have any relationship with. Dear ladies, do not comfort yourself with illusions. This only means sex for him and nothing else. If you are ok with one-night stands, then you can keep accepting this guy. But better do not waste your time and move on.
He is having doubts
So, why does he keep coming back? The stage of doubt is absolutely normal for everyone. In any relationship, there is such a stage. People start doubting even if everything was ok before. In this case, you should not do anything. Ideally, you should have not slept with this guy. If he disappears and shows up again, accept it. Just do not rely on him too much. If he is back and keeps conquering you, you can continue communication. If he disappears forever, let him go. Simply do not let to do it all the time. The doubting stage can happen only once, so do not allow wasting your time over and over again.
He wants to keep his positions open and keeps you just in case
It means that you are not his number one priority. This man wants to have a relationship but obviously, not with you once he meets a better option. Unfortunately, this is a very dangerous type of man. If you see you are an “extra option”, let him know that this is not the case with you and let him make a choice.
He needs only sex
Girls, if you allow a man to use you (and this cannot be called anyhow else), you have very low self-esteem. The only possible decision here is to apply to a psychologist and work on this issue together. After your self-esteem is improved, you can start searching for another man who will need not sex but a real relationship exactly with you.
You are very convenient for him
Being a convenient woman is one of the worst things that can happen to any lady. You are such a good woman who accepts him once he is coming back. You are ready to comply with his flaws. You think how come he don’t want me but then he just shows up again as if he feels something for you. The best decision is to STOP being convenient and once again, boost your self-esteem. If you keep attracting the same type of men, it is better to apply to a psychologist and improve the situation by using certain techniques.
He is insecure
In this case, the problem with self-esteem is not yours. The man has a very low level of self-confidence and he always thinks he does not deserve you. Unfortunately, you cannot do anything with it. These are not the signs he doesn’t love you anymore but the signs that this man needs serious help. You cannot save anyone having a low-self-esteem or insecurity. If you take the role of a saver, you will suffer and lose your own self-esteem. It is better to avoid such men and look for someone much more confident.
More useful TIPS in this article ⬇
Main signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you
He sleeps with me but doesn’t want a relationship — is this situation familiar to you? Yes, every woman has experienced this dilemma at least once in her life. The truth is women by their nature cannot sleep with men who are no one to them. Therefore, they sleep with their potential husbands. Once you start having sexual relationships with men, you subconsciously consider him to be your husband but he only sleeps with you.
In fact, men are very simple creatures, unlike women. To understand them, no special knowledge is needed. Here you have the main signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Just pay attention to these red flags and try to avoid these men in the future.
- He is not ready financially. A man who is not prepared for starting a relationship financially, does not really want to have this relationship. Men must be motivated. When he says he lacks money for taking you to a restaurant or it is too early to go on a trip, he does not really want to put in any effort for you. Just leave this man and move on. You need someone who can afford a relationship and family. Believe us, it is not cheap.
- He says it is too early. Men are never ready for a relationship. If they could, they would never start it at all. They are absolutely fine with their lives. A relationship is a time, money, and effort-consuming thing. However, when they meet someone they are attracted to not only sexually but also mentally and emotionally, they start investing this time, effort, and money. When you hear “It’s too early to have a relationship now”, it is nothing but an excuse. A man can also say such things as “I am not ready for a relationship but I like her” or “I am not ready for a relationship right now”. These are the same excuses.
- A man does not put in any effort. Once again, a man only sleeps with you and he is not ready to take you even out. If you both meet only in the bedroom, it is not a relationship. Well, it is a sexual connection, an affair, a co-living – whatever but not a relationship. No effort — no wish to be with you.
- He says he doesn’t want obligations now. This is one of the most common and beloved men’s phrases. I do not want any obligations right now — this means what it means — your man does not want to be in a relationship with you. If he wanted to, he would be happy to take this obligation.
Men can tell different things like they are not ready, they don’t want any obligations now, they did not recover from a previous relationship, they need to think well, they want to be friends at that stage and things like that. The only rule here is not to let him manipulate you. When you see one of these red flags, just let this man find someone else to sleep with. You are worth something more than that. Sometimes, it is really difficult to escape from this trap. Women start having hopes and truly believe their men experience difficult times or feelings.
In this case, a professional psychologist can help you elaborate on this problem and realize that you deserve a real relationship instead of being used. Order a consultation NOW ⬇
Why doesn’t he love me?
Ladies often ask this question during personal consultations. Why doesn’t he love me? This question is rather rhetorical. There can be thousands of reasons for that. We will not give you just a few differences and main reasons so you could understand your possible problem.
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(It’ about many women that find themselves repeatedly drawn into unhappy and destructive relationships with men. They then struggle to make these doomed relationships work. This best-selling book takes a hard look at how powerfully addictive these unhealthy relationships are – but also gives a very specific program for recovery from the disease of loving too much.)
Let’s continue our topic:
He doesn’t love you without having a relationship with you
Well, a man must be attracted to a woman on several levels:
As you can see, the sexual level is the initial one and if a man is not attracted to you, he will never love you no matter how strong your mental or emotional connections are.
He doesn’t love you anymore (after a relationship or years of marriage)
Love is the combination of three factors:
· Closeness (on an emotional level)
Love is like a stool on 3 legs. When there are all 3, it is very sustainable. Once you take one of them away, it will shake. If your partner does not love you anymore, it only means you lacked one of the components from the very beginning, i.e. it was not love. Maybe your relationship was built on passion and responsibility but there was no mental closeness. Maybe you only had sex but no responsibility. Maybe you are very close mentally and responsible but lack passion. In all these cases, love is impossible. This is only an illusion.
Find out what he would do if he wanted to have a relationship with you
Now, we have slowly come to question of what men do when they have relationships. Let us quickly see these signs so they would never mislead you.
- A man would communicate with you. The wish of any man to communicate and get to know you says that you are attractive for him sexually. This is the first level of attraction for men and if he keeps talking to you and is striving to get to know you, he potentially wants a relationship with you. Just keep in mind that you have to get to know him instead of starting sexual relationships, otherwise, his curiosity may fade away very quickly.
- He would want to help you. When a man offers his masculine help on different issues, this is a sign that he wants to be useful. Being needed is one of the needs of every man. If you meet this need, he feels really demanded. If a man offers you help with driving you somewhere, changing a wheel in your car, or bringing you something from the shop, do not reject to show him how independent you are. If he didn’t want to have a relationship with you, he would not offer any of these. A man can also pay for you in different public places, etc. This is a very good sign.
- He is conquering you. When a man is making small surprises for you, like taking you out, offering you flowers and other gifts, he definitely tries to get your attention. These are not the signs he’s not into you but vice versa. Even if you do not like a man at that stage, accept his courtship. Who knows, everything might change in the future. It is very easy for a handsome and sexy man to impress a woman. However, when a man puts in a lot of effort, it should not be underestimated.
Signs he will never come back
Dear ladies, why do you want to know about the signs he will never come back? Do you really like to live in the past? Or do you enjoy torturing yourself? If someone left, we would not recommend thinking about this person at all because you really need to move on. Of course, prior to that, you should work on your self-esteem and self-perception; otherwise, you will attract the same type of men.
Here are the most common signs that your man will never come back:
- Suggests you move on
- He avoids meetings with you
- Doesn’t answer your messages or calls
- Deleted you from his social media
- He is in a new committed relationship
- He is sleeping around
- Offers to be friends
- Doesn’t make any efforts
- Returns your stuff
Sometimes, it happens that a man goes away but still shows the signs he doesn’t want anyone else to have you. Here is advice — stop struggling with it and forget about this guy. This is called nothing but selfishness. If you think that he cares about you and that’s why does not want you to have other relationships, you are wrong. This man is that selfish that he has a sense of ownership. He just considers you as his property and does not want you to be happy with anyone else because this will hit his self-esteem. Just blow it off and keep being happy with decent men!
Relationships between men and women are obviously very complicated. If everything was so easy, we would not have so many divorces, breakups, and broken hearts. However, when you try to recognize the signs a guy doesn’t know what he wants or understand why he does not love you or why he keeps behaving twofold with you, you are losing precious time.
A lot of women struggle with such feelings like “love faded away” or “he doesn’t want me” but they do not realize that they are losing themselves in such relationships. Or, better to say in the absence of relationships. I want to be happy with a decent man but I don’t want to lose what I have now — if this is common to you, you need to work on your self-esteem and learn how to attract something more than such “roaming” men. Our psychologists can teach you how to do that.